Judge John Hodgman

Judge John Hodgman

John Hodgman podcasts

genre: Entertainment/Comedy

John Hodgman's Today in the Past podcast is now The Judge John Hodgman Podcast. Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, simply email it, along with your phone number, to hodgman@maximumfun.org. THAT IS ALL.

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© (c) 2008, 2009 by John Hodgman

Episodes

  •    
    Chevy Case

    5/23/2012

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    Duration: 41:03

    Patrick and his his girlfriend Hannah moved to Portland, Oregon last year and used Patrick's trusty Camaro to get there. Hannah has since bought Patrick's car from him to use on her commute to work, and sees it as a strictly utilitarian possession – car washing is unnecessary. Patrick is rankled by her lack of care for the Camaro's appearance and thinks she should show some pride of ownership. Who is right?

  •    
    Spare the Hodg, Spoil the Child

    5/16/2012

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    Duration: 44:45

    Gail believes she and her nephew Ray are similarly sensitive kindred spirits. As a loving aunt, she thinks she should be able to comfort Ray when he's upset, even over rule-breaking, and help him handle his feelings. Her sister Aimee believes Gail is unnecessarily coddling Ray and encouraging him to become an overly emotional child. Who is right? Only Judge John Hodgman can decide!

  •    
    Rashomom

    5/2/2012

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    Duration: 46:24

    Rebekah, her mother Denise and grandmother Gloria have a case regarding memory -- specifically, is the memory of a child or an adult more reliable?  Denise insists that a grey house stood next door to her childhood home; Gloria says that's simply not true, and that the house must be a figment of Denise's imagination. Rebekah's been dragged in to adjudicate their dispute before, but she's got issues of her own with her mom's recollections of past events.  Who is right, who is wrong, who can even remember? We turn to the man who never forgets, Judge John Hodgman, to decide.

  •    
    Judge John Hodgman 57: A Wing and A Player

    4/25/2012

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    Duration: 48:23

    Michael and Patrick have been best friends since high school. Michael likes to think of himself as Patrick's wingman, helping alert him to interested ladies when they're out together. Patrick thinks his friend lacks the subtlety to be a wingman and also misjudges politeness for romantic interest. Is Michael helping his friend find love and happiness, or is he steering him in the wrong direction? Only the Judge can decide.

  •    
    Early Man

    4/18/2012

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    Duration: 37:02

    Troy believes in never being late for an appointment, party, or movie -- but in striving to avoid tardiness, he's swung the other direction and arrives extra-early. His insistence on being early is driving his wife Carmen crazy. Should they stick to their early bird ways, or should Troy live a little less by the clock?

  •    
    Battle Royale

    4/11/2012

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    Duration: 43:08

    Leeman and his wife Rachel are American citizens who have immigrated to Toronto for school and work. They've become permanent Canadian residents, but Rachel wants to go whole hog and become citizens. Leeman finds the idea of swearing loyalty to the monarchy ideologically troubling. Should they form a united front and become citizens together?

  •    
    Die Flederhaus

    4/4/2012

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    Duration: 47:32

    Two brothers, one dilapidated house, and a colony of bats - what could be more scary about this case? Noah and Adam have a bat problem, and they can't agree on how to handle it. Should they run screaming, or man up when a bat comes their way? Only one man can decide!

  •    
    Cannery Row

    3/28/2012

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    Duration: 1:02:06

    THIS WEEK: Special Expert Witness Alton Brown! Ara and her mom Julia enjoy some mother-daughter bonding time while canning, but Ara insists on following USDA safety manuals, books, and other advice to make sure their canned goods are 100% safe. Julia says Ara's meticulous methods are driving her nuts, and they should rely on her own tried-and-true methods. WHO IS RIGHT?

  •    
    The Stick Shift Rift

    3/21/2012

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    Duration: 39:41

    Is not knowing how to drive a manual transmission in this day and age A CRIME? That's the question for Cosmo and Jen, a married couple who own a manual and an automatic car, respectively.

  •    
    The Wedding Clashers

    2/22/2012

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    Duration: 38:33

    John and Lindsay are a married couple with two weddings to attend on the same day -- John's childhood best friend's and Lindsay's cousin's. Which argument will win? Family obligations, long-seated freindship, the better party? Only Judge Hodgman can decide.

  •    
    Double Dog Dare

    2/8/2012

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    Duration: 41:15

    Marybeth and Paul are a couple of busy animal loving attorneys who already own a dog and a cat. Marybeth would like to add another dog to their family to help their current toy schnauzer, Olive, relax. Paul argues that with their busy schedule, and the already antsy Olive, another dog would only exacerbate the situation. Can Judge Hodgman resolve the pair’s puppy problem?

  •    
    The Master's Disaster

    1/25/2012

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    Duration: 36:33

    Jessie and Jason are a happily married couple with a scheduling conflict. Jason is in an intensive master's program and works a full-time job, which leaves him with little to no time for household chores or time for his wife. Jason prefers to schedule his classes in sixteen-week blocks, leaving a "summer vacation" of sorts. His wife prefers that he space out his classes so that she has someone to compliment her changing hairstyles or fix a doorknob. Can Judge Hodgman find a suitable arrangement?

  •    
    The Wonderful, Terrible, Terrible Towel Trouble

    1/12/2012

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    Duration: 38:27

    Katie and Bobby are dating and are both fans of Pittsburgh Steelers football. Katie says she was born into the Steelers Nation, while Bobby came to fandom while dating Katie. Their issue is the treatment of the team's signature "Terrible Towel". Katie says it should be treated with the utmost respect as an emblem of the team; Bobby says once it's purchased, you can do with it what you please, whether that's wiping chairs or your feet. Who is right, and who is wrong? Only one man can decide.

  •    
    The Carry On Carryings On

    1/4/2012

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    Duration: 39:09

    Blair and her sister Lisa are frequent flyers.  Blair never checks her bags due to the inconvenience of it, opting instead to carry them on.  Since she’s only 5’1”, she often relies on the generosity of fellow passengers to help maneuver her bags into the overhead compartment.  Her sister Lisa feels that Blair and people like her abuse the convenience of a carry-on -- in short, if you’re unable to completely manage your belongings on the plane, you should have to check them.  Who is right?

  •    
    The Clap Trap

    12/22/2011

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    Duration: 45:45

    Greg and Eric are longtime friends and sometime-bandmates.  They disagree on one area of performance; should members of the band ever ask the audience to clap along to their music?

  •    
    Apocalypse Row

    12/15/2011

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    Duration: 37:19

    Carrie and her husband Phillip are planning for the future. A collapse of civilazation under the coming apocalypse to be exact. Carrie and "Sarge" are at odds about where to best survive the end of days and bring the case to Judge John Hodgman. 

  •    
    The Bedding Crasher

    12/8/2011

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    Duration: 35:03

    When is it appropriate to ask to crash at a friend's place? Should the practice be curtailed when one reaches a certain age or level of financial security? Chris and Emily bring this case against their friend Pat.

  •    
    Triple Word Scorn

    12/1/2011

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    Duration: 31:19

    Jesse and Jessica are used to squaring off against one another when they play games like Scrabble & Hangman on their smartphones. In this episode of Judge John Hodgman their rivalry spills into the courtroom as they litigate their literary license.  Please use JUSTICE in a sentence!

  •    
    Driving Miss Drowsy

    11/23/2011

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    Duration: 29:43

    Austin brings the case against his good friend Ethan. A year ago, they drove cross-country from Santa Cruz, California to Brooklyn, New York. Austin says that during the trip, he experienced "car lag," a variant form of jetlag. Ethan says the very idea is absurd. The argument has driven a wedge into their friendship.

  •    
    Out of REC-order

    11/9/2011

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    Duration: 37:15

    Strife between two friends -- over DVR recordings.  If Anthony requests that Joseph record television programs for him on his personal DVR, is he obligated to come over and watch them?

  •    
    The Abuse of Flower Power

    11/2/2011

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    Duration: 38:24

    Not in MY backyard! Julienne and Emily are neighbors and romantically involved. Julienne has created a garden space  but wants to add a particular flower that Emily detests. Emily has threatened to never cross the picket fence again if they are brought in. Who'll win the war of the roses?

  •    
    Slash-Friction

    10/26/2011

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    Duration: 37:07

    What IS a horror movie? Bryan's list of 100 horror movies is all about content. His friend Jay says it's all about the audience's reaction. Who is the master of the macabre? Only one justice of the deceased can decide!

  •    
    Pepperoni Pauper

    10/19/2011

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    Duration: 32:38

    A young couple battle embarrassing behavior and bags of trash in search of unpeeled prize tickets for a shot at redemption. And a free slice of pizza. Or a free Coke.

  •    
    Panta-Lunacy

    10/12/2011

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    Duration: 39:16

    Seth and Stephen are colleagues in a Broadway show.  They bring a case of Lost and Found, Finders and Keepers, and Losers and Weepers.

  •    
    Beard Science

    9/28/2011

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    Duration: 38:20

    Guest bailiffed by ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper! Friends Mike, Mike and Dan seek a ruling on a modified but highly charged game of beard chicken.

  •    
    Unbanded Brothers

    9/22/2011

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    Duration: 39:10

    Brothers and bandmates Jack and Jeff bring this argument over tourdates, a wedding and being the boss of the band.

  •    
    De Plane

    8/31/2011

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    Duration: 35:57

    Elisabeth and Melissa are good friends and enthusiastic travelers, who often journey together on planes and in cars across the country. While their traveling styles mesh for the most part, they are divided on a hot-button issue: the correct way to de-plane once you've arrived at your destination. Elisabeth, who prefers to take the aisle seat, believes that the aisle-sitter bears some burden of judgment, and may choose to wait a reasonable amount of time before stepping into the aisle, without asking permission of his or her seatmates. Melissa, on the other hand, is frequently a window-seater, and believes that people should abide by the "row by row" rule as a general rule. WHO IS RIGHT, and WHO IS WRONG? Only Judge Hodgman can decide.

  •    
    Hors d'oeuvres in the Court

    8/19/2011

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    Duration: 33:49

    Mike's three children were enticed to try a foreign food -- bacon-wrapped scallops -- by an offer from their father of $5. However, Mike now claims that since the boys enjoyed the food, he no longer owes them compensation. Mike's wife Ellen represents the boys in court.

  •    
    The Cow Beef

    7/20/2011

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    Duration: 36:30

    Ted brings this case against his father Paul, who has become obsessed with cows.  Ted argues that his father's cow collection and his inclination to randomly say the word cow, among other issues, indicate the need to tamp down the cow-talk.  Paul argues that his obsession is merited, because "cows are our most important animal friends."

  •    
    Garbage Man and Wife

    7/6/2011

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    Duration: 37:30

    Matt Haughey of Metafilter and his wife Kay split household chores right down the middle, except when it comes to garbage duty.  Does the person taking out the trash have "garbage hands" that are only suitable to replace the trash bag and deal with all matters dirty?  Judge John Hodgman decides!

  •    
    Ob-Law-Di, Ob-Law-Da

    6/24/2011

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    Duration: 34:13

    Pat and Joe come before the court with a case about that famous rock band, The Beatles. Pat claims that The White Album is one of The Beatles' worst albums and has a scattered approach. Joe argues that the album benefits from its variance and is one of their best works.

  •    
    Justice is Out There

    6/17/2011

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    Duration: 33:24

    Randi and Chris were gifted Mulder and Scully action figures for Christmas, but differ on their purpose. Should they be kept in their original packaging, to retain value (and for laughs)? Or should they be freed, to re-enact X-Files episodes and general playtime?

  •    
    The Battle of the Baton

    6/10/2011

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    Duration: 33:37

    When Jake listens to his favorite classical music, he finds himself conducting furiously and with abandon.  His wife Erica, an accomplished concert musician, says his flamboyant conducting makes a mockery of her life's work. Must Jake cease his carefree conducting style?

  •    
    The Friendship Inquest

    6/2/2011

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    Duration: 33:38

    Friends Adam and Will have a dispute about social networking.  Is it Adam's responsibility as a young adult to get with the program and join the online social networking world, or is Will pushing his own life choices on his friend?

  •    
    The Toot Dispute

    5/25/2011

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    Duration: 32:29

    Jason's mom argues that whenever he passes gas, he should proffer an "excuse me" to whomever is present (according to general social etiquette).  Jason says he's an adult and as such, is allowed to do as he pleases.  Should Jason's mom butt out, or should be held to her standards?

  •    
    The Girlfriend and the Grasshopper

    5/18/2011

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    Duration: 33:21

    Jeff says his live-in girlfriend Courtney habitually hides food from him. Courtney admits that she's hidden food in the past, but only to save Jeff from his own ravenous tendencies, and that she has stopped the practice. Is Courtney a food-hoarder, or is Jeff a food-stealer?

  •    
    The Bedroom Three-way

    5/11/2011

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    Duration: 35:56

    College pals Corey, Tyler and Caitlyn are moving into a new apartment in the coming school year with three bedrooms: two small, one gloriously spacious. Who deserves the biggest room?

  •    
    Arby's-tration

    5/4/2011

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    Duration: 30:34

    Is it appropriate to ask a cab driver to take you through a drive-thru after a long night of drinking? Take a ride in the Justice Cab to find out.

  •    
    Tips, Tricks and Justice

    4/29/2011

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    Duration: 28:43

    In this episode, we are joined by SPECIAL GUEST and EXPERT WITNESS Morgan Webb.  John argues that using a strategy guide when playing a video game is cheating, pure and simple.  His friend Josef argues that while it provides an advantage, it's not out of line to use a guide and constitutes no cheating.

  •    
    You Say Tomato, I Say Justice

    4/21/2011

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    Duration: 29:56

    We have a pronunciation problem. Matt brings the case against his friend Josh, who he argues pronounces a number of words incorrectly. Affectations, shibboleths, and regionalisms: we've got it all.

  •    
    An Appeel-ate Case Decision

    4/14/2011

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    Duration: 29:42

    Friends (and Canadian barristers) Nick and Phil bring their fruit-based case before the Judge: which gentleman's technique for peeling a banana is correct?

  •    
    The Ironman Trial-Athlon

    4/6/2011

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    Duration: 31:54

    Should an endurance event enthusiast (and former couch potato) be allowed to participate in an Ironman Triathlon against the wishes of his wife?

  •    
    The Colbert Rapport

    4/1/2011

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    Duration: 31:22

      When is it appropriate to request a photo with a celebrity seen in the wild? Andrew and Britt bring this case of a Hollywood party, Stephen Colbert, and potential Facebook popularity before the judge.

  •    
    Parents Just Don't Understand

    3/16/2011

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    Duration: 26:30

    Should a father be able to compell his teenage daughter to watch classic films? Or does a 16-year-old deserve autonomy in her entertainment choices?

  •    
    The Potluck Problem

    3/9/2011

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    Duration: 37:58

    Two best friends disagree on the morality of the potluck. One says it's a great opportunity for everyone to pitch in. One says it's a sign of a host who's abdicated responsibility for the party. Only one man can decide who's right.

  •    
    Sesame Street Justice

    3/2/2011

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    Duration: 46:51

    A group of high school kids kidnapped their youth group leader's life-size Ernie doll as a prank, but he was stolen from them before his safe return.  Can they be held responsible for Ernie's disappearance if they intended to return him?

  •    
    Snob V. Slob

    2/24/2011

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    Duration: 30:03

    A fiancee demands that her sweetheart shape up and dress for a promotion, plus other clothing-related disputes.

  •    
    The Tahitian Take-Out

    2/16/2011

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    Duration: 22:22

    A friends' night out at a Polynesian restaurant, several Scorpion bowls and an abandoned bag of takeout are involved in this accusation of impropriety and substandard hygiene.

  •    
    You Say Martucci, I Say Martucci

    2/9/2011

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    Duration: 19:49

    Sisters Carol and Michelle have a disagreement over the pronunciation of their last name, Martucci. Carol believes in the traditional Italian "Mar-too-CHEE" and Michelle thinks it honors their grandfather to pronounce the name in his preferred fashion, "Mar-too-SEE".

  •    
    The Case of the Youthful Indiscretions

    1/31/2011

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    Duration: 18:18

    Brothers Evan and Michael battle it out: as a toddler, Michael stole Evans things, and gave them away at pre-school. Does Evan deserve an apology?

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  • Hilarious!

    By Belt8262/22/2011 16:41:24

    There's too little John Hodgman in the world.  He's like jello.  There's always room for Hodgman!

    Be the first person to rate this review! think this is useful

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