A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. Grandpa, what are you doing? You're weezer is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. So he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well...last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.
This is your grandma's idea.
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back
and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. The cop asks "Where
was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies. About that time the
cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the
world to see.
He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without
missing a beat, blurts out..
"I'll be damned ..
My girlfriend's gone, too."